shameful
i cant use a metaphor, i cant dance around the obvious truth. everything i am is nothing but a disgrace to you. to hear that voice in such desperation, to know i caused it, marked the end of my joy. i dont want your pitiful sympathy, because if you really knew, you wouldn’t care, you wouldn’t love. i remain behind a closed door that i refuse to open. you cant know. i wont let you know. you ridicule my existence unknowingly, like a voodoo doll without my name upon it. i cloak it in a metaphor again, bury it behind perfection, stay silent. i am what you resent, i won’t cause it again, the door is sealed and no amount of your love could open it again. i can’t be anything else but who i am. so cloak me in solitude, barricade the door, and forget me.