an exploration of canines (and their ability to remember)
i've been living in the current moment as if it's a dream that i'm looking back on.
i talk about you as if youre something ive been slowly forgetting.
i find you in lyrics written in blood, and i find you in the darkest thoughts of my mind.
i know where this leads, i know what i want, i know that im reading this a year from now wondering why i couldnt just do it.
it was never about myself, it was never my own pain that caused me to want your attention. i enjoyed making you feel the same hurt you were causing me. i enjoyed the feeling of keeping the score even, i wanted that satisfaction just to soothe my bleeding heart.
yet i am still so gentle for you. i wear a muzzle and return to my crate when i become upset. i want to run from you on terms that make me gentle, terms that make me seem like i had no other choice. a good dog doesnt run without reason. a good dog stays through every hardship, mans best friend, a loyal companion i try to be.
this is going to hurt me. so much.
i just need to take the first step.
i will not bite your hand, i will be remembered only in the posters weathered on your street.